great entry in NYT Metropolitan Diary today

This resonates with me very much – just substitute GROUNDHOG – except that my neighbors and I have decided ours WILL die next spring!

Dear Diary:

I had just moved from California to the Upper West Side, and was in a neighborhood store, purchasing some plants for my new apartment. In front of me in line were two older New York couples.

The wife of the first couple said to the man behind the counter: “Got anything for squirrels? I don’t want to kill them; I just want to scare them away.”

To which her husband replied: “I want to kill them. What do you have to kill them?”

The second couple, behind them, interjected, “Where do you live?” It was determined that they all lived within one city block of each other.

The next question: “What does your squirrel look like?” After some discussion, it was agreed that it was the same squirrel.

“That’s him,” wife No. 2 said. “He’s got a feisty stance, and beady eyes.” To which her husband then suggested: “Let’s kill him together.”

The man behind the counter said, “We’re not killing squirrels here, ladies and gentlemen. This is Manhattan. We all got to get along.”

Naomi Starkman

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One Response to great entry in NYT Metropolitan Diary today

  1. Will says:

    My husband, who lives in Southern new hampshire (as will I after this academic year when I retire from MIT’s faculty) adores chipmunks but loathes squirrels, whom he calls “tree rats.” They chew and claw their way through fascia boards and siding, they get in through minute chinks in the granite foundation and found colonies in his basement, they even ate their way up through the floor and into his closet in which they did incredible amounts of damage.
    Even in the country, they are neither picturesque nor cute.

    Like

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